I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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