Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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