Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
