You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Randomize
