so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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