i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
