Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
