Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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