Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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