Please, let me fuck your mom
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize