oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
