What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
