I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
