I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
