just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The air taste purple.
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