You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
