Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
