Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
