My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
