what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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