I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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