Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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