I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
