I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
