Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
