Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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