I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's blow job season.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
