Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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