Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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