Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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