hotel room ftw
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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