you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
