Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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