Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
