I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize