Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
