Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
