Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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