I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
