A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
