That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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