Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
