PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
