watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
