Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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