I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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