Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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