After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
