Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
