I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Green mimosas i think yes
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
