I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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