Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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