I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
