ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
