Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
