32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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