O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
