You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
